"I am sending him to you for the express purpose that you may know about our circumstances and that he may encourage your hearts." -Colossians 4:8
It does not take much perception to notice that there is something about life that always seems to be working against you. Call it Murphy's Law, fate, or cloak it in theological language and describe it as man's old nature.
It is all of these and more. It is what makes people pessimists and causes them to go out of their way to tell you that what you want to do is impossible, that you are destined to failure, that your idea is impractical, and that you are really a dumb dumb.
Furthermore, way down deep in the bedrock of your heart are some negative feelings which tell you, “Hey, maybe those guys are right.” You really know better, but if you are not careful you tend to believe them. Proverbs 23:7 puts it, "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he."
Jesus said that out of your heart come the issues of life. When you think negatively, you begin to perform and think the same way. Inversely, when you believe you can, you can. Your attitude becomes predictive of your performance. If you listen to words of encouragement, your spirit perks up and your whole attitude takes on a positive, upbeat stance, but when you allow discouragement to penetrate your heart, your attitude becomes pessimistic and negative.
Not only do you need personal encouragement, but you also need to practice encouraging someone else. I need encouragement to accomplish what God has called me to do. So do you, but when I encourage you my spirit is lifted within me and I do a better job. That is why you have so much to do with the success and/or failure of the people with whom you work.
I mentioned that much of life seems to be working against you, and that is not pessimism it is a realistic observation. It is this that you have to overcome. For every person who pats you on the back verbally, who shares a positive word of encouragement, there are a half-dozen or more who clobber you, telling you what you did not do instead of what you did.
Slipping into negative patterns comes easy. When I had teenagers at home, I would often arrive home at the end of the day, weary and in a less than joyful mood. I would catch myself pointing out what had not gotten done instead of appreciating what had been done--the untrimmed grass by the tree or the weeds that were still in the garden.
The habit of encouragement has to be cultivated. It does not come naturally. The past six months have been some of the busiest of my life, and I've noticed it is so very easy for me to look at everything that needs to be done instead of noticing what has been done along with the beautiful roses which are in bloom and the white clouds which contrast a sky of blue, or appreciating how crisp and clean the morning air is.
I think we tend to do the same thing in our marriages and our homes. I am thinking of the couple who came for counseling. No, there were no big issues, just a lot of nagging annoyances. After listening to a recital of petty woes and failures, I gave them an assignment before my next session.
Make a list of all the things you admire in each other," I asked. They did, and it was indeed a changed couple who freely admitted that they did not know the other really admired some things in them. They had only focused on what they didn’t like.
We find what we look for, not only in others but in ourselves as well. Encouragement strengthens the heart and puts resolve in our actions. It can make the difference between success and failure, sunshine and gloom.
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